OH MY GOD !!!!!!! ONE WORD TO SUM UP THE SCRIPT: FANTASTIC. UNBELIEVABLE. BRILLIANT!!!!!!!! I love your Bullseye. Its a killing psycho monster. A true Bulleseye. Mark Steven Johnson should have read your script and made it into a movie. Daredevil is true to the comic and I like the way you portrayed Elektra as a mysterious assassin whacking people. The script is unbelievable. A true screenwriter you are. Bravo !!!
An incredible script, this is one Daredevil movie that SHOULD have been made.
Hey, I just read the entire thing and I thought it was really good. I think it was a good idea letting his identity being revealed.. The only problem I have with it was that Matt's apartment was a mess.. It's just that he's so sensitive to those sorts of things like dirt and stuff that it sort of annoyed me.. But y'know that's pretty petty. In retrospect it was a great story with an excellent plot line and actually better than the movie they have out now. If only Marvel knew what was good for them..
Hello. I thought your DD script was really well done! I'll probably wish they used that instead of the film version!
I have just read your original screenplay BLIND JUSTICE: pages 51-75... Great!!!...
I finished your script. Very Good! A well-thought-out plot and GREAT character development. Here the only problems, in my opinion -
- The whole thing where a character is gone when someone looks away and looks back.
- I don't think DD's identity should've been revealed
- And like what someone said before, it would've been more dramatic if Elektra died in the hands of bullseye, with DD watching.
Otherwise, the script was excellent, it has one of those stories that can't possibly get bad reviews from cynical critics.
I just finished reading Blind Justice. I don't know much about DD, but I really enjoyed it. It's a change to find a fan script written by someone who can spell. I thought you might be interested in one of my scripts. Any comments would be appreciated.
Hey Terrence, read your script. I thought it was excellent. Currently, I'm working on my own DD script and I'd love to somehow let you see it for your thoughts and opinions on it.
The underground scene reads write out of Dante's "Inferno." Pretty ingenious. And that
"Tyger" ship I looked up ... it really did exist and parts of it are still down there. Hitchcock said he made his movies on 2 levels: one, for the general viewing audience and the other, on a more deeper level, for the astute viewer. Writer really did his homework here.
I'll admit that it was pretty good. Especially after reading the journals and seeing how much effort was put into it by the writer. There's only two things I would change about it. First, I would have Matt be a bachelor, and maybe throw Karen in the background and foreshadow. The second is that I wouldn't have him be unmasked. Then again, maybe I was missing the point.
Anyway, after reading it again, I'll agree that it was a good script. Especially the end. I
hope Mr. "Simon Birch" makes a script this good.
I have just finished your Blind Justice and was very pleased with the work. As with any work, there are good points and bad points.
Good points:
- I like the darkness you incorporated into all of the scenes.
- I especially enjoyed how you slowly draw out Daredevil, first with the glowing red eyes and finally with his full appearance. Not too overdone, either.
- I feel that you have captured the true sense of Bullseye, especially with the internal scenes and Bullseye's fascination with movies. Your Bullseye is completely evil.
- It's nice to see the good guys frolicking in the hay. And Matt's relationship with Elektra always did have a carnal flavor.
Now the bad points:
- I have trouble with the Kingpin's "great" crime. The biggest real estate swindle of all times? I think that most people would envy his discovery of the world's greatest lottery ticket than would despise him. I've always wanted to see why the vigilantes needed to work outside the law. If a movie showed the frustration of injustice by having corrupt cops, paid judges, bribed juries, it would more readily validate the cause of the heroes.
- After portraying Bullseye as such a volatile, psychopathic killer with all his displays of murder, Elektra's death by an unseen injury in a train wreck is a let down. One of the most lasting images in the DD comics is the picture of Bullseye stabbing Elektra with the sai, the point pushing her costume out.
- The Kingpin wouldn't allow his wife, Vanessa, to attend any business meetings.
- No one wants to see Daredevil unmasked and his secret revealed.
Over all, I really enjoyed the screenplay and think that Daredevil will be well represented. Thank you for your time and patience.
This story was great .... flowed like water through a narrow ravine. The characters had there own style and peronage. The writing was that of a comic book, but good context. Scenes from where DD fights Bullseye and the action sequences are just like the comic book.
If done properly, this film should cost in the $30 to 40 million range. The set for the underground "tent city" filled with "mole people" should be elaborate and rival any James Bond villain’s lair ever created. See pages 56- 59 of the script. Well thought out story, a couple of left out words in dialogue hurts the flow just a bit. It definitely has potential for a huge, lavish production if Marvel Comics would look at it.
I just read "Blind Justice." It was a good script. What software did you use to write it?
I've just finished reading the first 26 pages of your script and I must say I like what you've done so far. The mature theme is best, I think. A crying shame the way the suits ruined Spawn. I trust you and your colleagues won't let this happen to a classic hero like DD.
I downloaded your "BJ" script to read at my leisure and completed digesting the entire script a few weeks ago. I found it a quick paced and extremely enjoyable read. I was very thrilled to find a script featuring one of my favorite Marvel Comics' character, especially based on an issue I had read, albeit many years ago, and was a fan of.
I'd love to see the "live action" film of "Blind Justice". I believe I it contains all of the elements of a action packed thriller and a very positive vehicle for Marvel's vision impaired crime fighter to find his way to the silver screen. Marvel Entertainment definitely needs a hit when it comes to their endeavors in Hollywood.
Yours was one of the few original (not yet produced as a film) scripts I have read. Without a doubt, "BJ" was one of the better original screenplays I've read in some time, definitely most faithful to its original source. The dialogue was perfect, the storyline creative yet again, true to the source story and I have no doubt it will make an effective movie. Anyway, good luck in your endeavors. Hope to see "BJ" now showing at the nearest cineplex soon. Thanks for a thoroughly enjoyable read.
I think you pulled it off great - - - using the comic as an outline but giving it your own
spin - - that's the essence of good writing when it comes to adaptations; taking the tried and true but giving it a new polish - - -of course, there are some die hard fans who might disagree but in doing what you did you also made the story accessible to those of us who have no
idea who or what DD is and made it interesting - - - so to keep that balance between fan and those who aren't clued in is very tricky but you managed to pull it together and write one heck of a script - --
The whole thing so far really reminds me of the 1st Batman movie. Nice pace, no one scene seems too long or too short. Most people who post their scripts are full of shit and their stuff sucks; then they act like they're the bomb. Because of this I was really skeptical, but I was bored at work and I'm really glad I took time out to read it.
In-fucking-credible. I don't see any genres missing from this; it has everything, and God knows that's damned hard to do. I was excited during the action sequences, and my guts ached during the Matt/Elektra scenes.
The thing about somebody turning around to see the other person gone was a bit overused. ESPECIALLY with DD/Kingpin. DD would have "sensed" where he went, and KP is huge anyway; it'd be hard for him to "slip away". This scene, above the others like it, needs an overhaul. My suggestion? DD turns around and Fisk looks at him, then looks away, maybe shaking his head or something. Just be careful with that though, you don't want to be too cliché.
Absolutely loved the literary/cinematic references. Definitely a sign of a good writer, no matter who you ask. This has enough of everything else to keep the less cultured people interested, and plenty of subtle stuff to please even the most critical of the artsy-literary boys. I can't wait to see it.
Just finished the first two segments of it. I like it. DD doesn't seem to be in it a lot. I realize this is kind of a set-up feature for a franchise but you've got to get the hero in their. That's why the Batman flicks ended up pretty bad after a while. The last one was The Mr. Freeze, Poison Ivy, Batgirl Robin and some guy in a bat costume movie. I also agree your Bullseye kicks ass! Man I love how you treat this guy.
It was great! I think you could of toned down the profanity but otherwise, it was awesome! I loved the descriptions and you made it center around my favorite characters! Keep up the good work!!!
I only read the beginning, but it's a gripper. I like the way you used the TV news anchors to make the first transitions.
Am I the only one who didn't like it???
Haven't had a chance to finish the whole script but so far very cool. I'll write more when I'm done.
I read about a quarter of it and what I read, I liked very much. I would guess that your target audience is the teen/20-something, right? Very good writing and very, very visual. I could see all the action happening in front of my eyes, through your writing.
I gotta admit it: you've got talent kid. Just downloaded the first 25 pages of your "Daredevil" script (always one of my fave characters, by the way - Spider-Man always excepted) and I'm enthralled - well written, makes me want more, can't wait to read the next few pages etc., etc. Keep it up.
Thank you for taking the time to construct this site. I just spent a few hours pouring over your Daredevil script and journals and links. They were all educational and enjoyable.
Intense! Great job.
For what I read of it, it was very entertaining. What are you doing in the ways of getting it to producers and production companies?
BJ moved like the bullet train - - it kept me turning the pages and wondering what was going to happen - -- the action scenes read smooth; the dialogue was a potpourri mix - - - from fun, the acerbic to serious. . .it moved the story along - - -it helped form characterization - - - and the flashbacks worked well - - -Elektra and how she came to be - - - and how DD lost his sight - - - I also liked the subtext - - going underground; THE TYGER - - -fantastic.
I wasn't sure how I'd like BJ because I had a certain prejudice - - thinking films based on comics were like the old K-POW Batman series and I had images of Danny Devito Penguins
running through me head - - - granted, there is a line of realism that has to be crossed for this
story - - but in reading BJ it didn't have a comic book feel - - - DD, Elektra, etc. actually bleed; they don't bounce right back up and most important, they're intriguing characters....
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