A DECLARATION OF WAR "THE PLANTS VERSUS THE STREETS COLONEL KORN, THE COMMANDER OF PLANTS WILL ENGAGE -- GENERAL CANDY AND STREETS TILL ONE THE OTHER DEFEATS FOR THE RIGHT OF DOMAIN IN THE VILLAGE OF CANE BOTH ARMIES WILL MEET ON THE PLAIN KNOWN AS SWEETS." "What's going on?" was the question in Cane. And when the villagers couldn't find out they said, "Let's go to this Plain," And the animals too, sensing something would brew Decided they had a right of domain, so they went too. "The Battle" The Plants Versus the Sweets Near the battle site -- The villagers watched General Candy march his army of might From the East came the army of Sweets To engage from the West -- the army of Plants -- with drummers of Beets. On executing their drills -- both armies stood still Then General Candy said, "Charge my Sweets! -- It's fight or be killed!" But the Plants struck the first blow With a string, 'Bean' fashioned a bow And zing! went Zucchini a squash, against the oncoming foe While Peas out of pods like pellets now shelled General Candy and troops, his casualties swelled And Onions that gassed brought tears to the eyes As the battle raged on, with Cane as the prize. General Candy knew Korn had colonels a lot So he fought them with cannons from every hilltop For troops without leaders would soon be defeated With no one to give them commands the Plants would have to disband. "Cannon to left -- cannon to right" Cannons 'popped Korn' all through the night Shot him up good with candy delight. The first chocolate round, a musketeers ball, Sent a 'Pom Pom' that went on to bomb; tents of the first army corps. The next shots entwined Plants in their vines Gluing them fast in molasses and lime. The battle seesawed --'til the army of Sweets Advanced on the Plants -- who fell in retreat And though the Potatoes were mashed And Beets dripped red as they fled Plants, trapped in the vines -- couldn't withdraw And in the heat -- they began to wither and thaw. The battle seemed close to an end When suddenly -- there came from the sky a thunderous cry It was the army of Tears -- the Plants' ally The army of Tears -- the army of Tears -- the Plants all cheered While the Sweets now trembled, for this was the army they feared Soon day lost light As cumulus clouds with face affright Joined to tear' the battle site With droplets of rain they pelted the plain From mountain top high to the valley below Till in torrents they came -- with a flash flood of rain Freeing the Plants -- from their prison of chains. Now no Sweet in Cane could live in the rain Their bodies designed from sugar refine simply would melt And as they got smaller -- the Plants grew taller And taller and taller till it seemed -- They would touch the clouds in the sky. General Candy said, "Stop! We surrender -- stop-- we surrender, we surrender!" "The Awakening" Sweettooth finds the real Mr. Green 'And with a plop' he fell to the floor from his bed Yelling "STOP! STOP!" Brushing sleep from his eyes, Sweettooth surmised It was the 'CROW OF THE COCK' he was telling to stop As he sat on the floor in his floppy o1' cap and nitie like jeans And stretching to yawn -- HE REMEMBERED THE BATTLE WITH KORN THE PLANTS, THE SWEETS, AND THE DREAM! The dream -- My -- What a silly old dream he thought And yet -- how real it had seemed Sweettooth sprang to his feet and looked in the mirror to see if his body was still in proportion a body complete With a 'gasp' he uttered a terrible cry For 'alas' like the Sweets, his body had shrunk to a miniature size He trembled with fear, till his height reappeared And moving about, now completely awake he realized That this 'GLASS' -- Why, this glass was the glass of all fun The glass of all size. In haste -- Sweettooth dressed. to the West Through the forest of trees with dew on the glade In the light of the moon they sped on their way And the sounds of the forest echoed their flight So startled were they the creatures of night Over green rolling hills past farm and windmill Horse and rider now flew Round thicket and thorn they galloped along And the villagers knew, as children peeped from their peek a boo windows That this man called Green was being pursued At a turn in the road, Sweettooth said, "Whoa!!" For he saw in a field a man with a hoe Dismounting -- he tied his horse to a tree And walked up to this man he considered his adversary. "I'm Mayor Sweettooth," he said to the stranger, "The Mayor And mounting his mare rode off of Cane; and you, sir, you're Mr. Green." "Why yes!" Green greeted him cheerfully, "Green like the grass that covers this plain," Said he, spreading his hands outwardly, "There you are right -- That is my name -- But how did you know? And to what do I owe, for this visit from one so esteemed?" "You flatter me," Sweettooth replied, as he thought: This Green -- was not like the Green of his dream Though his face looked the same, his manners seemed changed, Sweettooth wondered -- was this a cover up scheme On the part of the crafty old Green. Sweettooth spoke out. "The children of Cane told me your name And described you as so- 'With a nose like a carrot -- and a voice like a parrot, and -- '" "Enough! Enough!" said Green, as he laughed. "My! How children go to extremes. Of course, I don't blame them, I know prettier faces they've seen. But though I am old and a sight to behold, My heart -- O' my heart is as gentle, as a kitten that's weaned ... " "It wasn't entirely your face," Sweettooth said, Or the carrot and bean you asked them to taste, That caused the children to race into the village with screams It was the threat that you made, that gave you away Your threat -- BEFORE I'M THROUGH I'LL RAISE CANE ON ALL OF YOU That scared them right out of their jeans And I must add, it made us all mad ... Would you care to explain, Mr. Green?" "Indeed! Indeed" Green said in glee, "Explain I will!" And, as Sweettooth listened, his eyes saw something amiss as he stared in Green's mouth, deep down and around that abyss "No threat was intended," said Green, "Nor was it meant to upset I said the word Cain. C-A-I-N not Cane, C-A-N-E, And merely implied, on candy alone one cannot survive, BUT NOW -- If they were to take my carrot and bean! Well," and he sighed, "Ah ... Healthwise -- their bodies would thrive And when I offered the children my vitamin plan DO YOU KNOW WHAT THEY DID -- Why -- The rascals got up and they ran And that is the truth, Mayor Sweettooth ... Why I love all children," said Green. "Here, let me show you some pictures." And from his wagon nearby ... He picked up a book with the title "The Family Prize." Sweettooth just stared at Green's mouth And though he had heard the words that came out ... he was shocked -- For Green's mouth, showed only a mouthful of rot, 'There wasn't a tooth to be seen.' In a daze Sweettooth said, "Gleam --Where is the Gleam?" "Gleam," asked Green -- "What do you mean?" "Sheen!" Sweettooth cried out, "Sheen! That's what I mean. Your Teeth -- where are your teeth, so pearly and neat?" "MY TEETH?" This man must be crazy, thought Green. With the weather so hot, it must be the heat. I must try to console him. "My teeth -- O'yes, hm-hm -- my teeth. Well, er -- after I eat, I leave them in water to clean." Sweettooth laughed. "You leave them in water to clean? O'come, Mr. Green, why at age thirty-two, my teeth, totaled two, And that's all I had, to catch my food and give it a chew. And when they decayed and rotted away, My gums had to grate the food that I ate, and now, you would have me believe with my teeth gone from my face, I could somehow have them replaced." Sweettooth laughed again. "Come, Mr. Green, you have teeth only twice, Though I must say, to have them three times, Ah yes, that indeed -- that indeed would be nice. But that's impossible -- Quite impossible." "It isn't," said Green, "I can prove it to you." And An his wagon nearby he picked up a bowl And lo and behold! to Sweettooth's surprise The bowl held water, and teeth were sparkling inside. Sweettooth rubbed his eyes, it was hard to believe what he saw As Green put the teeth in his mouth, and smiled once more. Sweettooth blurted out words excitedly, "Are they paste? Or -- some sort of image you've traced." "PASTE -- PASTE, certainly not," bellowed Green. "But with ivory and stone I've hewed -- These dentures that gleam. 'Gleam' -- Aha -- I know now what you mean, when you said the word 'gleam,' And I should have realized, my teeth would be a surprise -- of course-- That is my reason for coming to Cane. To correct this problem, in your toothless domain." "And what do you propose?" Sweettooth asked. "Simply this," said Green. "I will make teeth for the people of Cane Providing they eat my plants, along with their barley and grain." "PLANTS -- EAT PLANTS?" Sweettooth screamed, "NEVER! NEVER!" As he remembered the dream. Green laughed. "But Mayor Sweettooth, plants of mine, are not the garden flowery kind. They are called 'VEGETABLES' Like SQUASH, SPINACH, STRINGBEANS, PEAS and CARROTS and GREEN LIMA BEANS." "Yes I know," said Sweettooth -- still remembering the dream. "And your fee for this service, "Sweettooth asked, "What would it be?" Green thought for a moment. "Well -- For my teeth, my right to compete with you here in Cane. And my plants for your sweets, on a reasonable, weigh-in exchange. And here is my 'DEED' for this land, for your consent and your hand." Green handed Sweettooth the book -- 'The Family Prize'. Sweettooth opened the book. The 'DEED' was folded inside. The 'DEED' was authentic. It had the 'SEAL OF THE CANDY CANE' And in writing, declared a new ownership's name. That name was Green's. Sweettooth scanned through the book. And with plenty of pictures to see, he hurriedly gave them a look. There were family pictures and photos of children at play. And though the children looked strong and tall Their faces were sad and not at all gay. Closing the book, Sweettooth asked Green, "Where are you from?' "From the Vegetarian village," said Green. "A distance from here ninety miles." "Is it not called, 'THE VILLAGE OF PLANTS'?" 'Well," said Green with a smile, in fable perhaps or storybook lore, Why once it was said by writers of yore, that 'MONSTERS' had grown there before." Green laughed, "In olden times perhaps, but other than this, Fairy Tales -- nothing more.' "HM! HM!" said Sweettooth, "I see. The Vegetarian village you said?" 'Yes, it's called that,' said Green. "For our nutrition is mainly gotten from garden greens. We prefer vegetables to meat." "Your pictures are beautiful,' Sweettooth said, "houses and all, "Of course, my teeth will be the first you'll complete." "OF COURSE," said Green with a smile of gleam. Sweettooth excitedly mounted his mare -- so eager was he -- To tell the good fortune the people would share. Green returned the wave of his hand, As rider and horse, dashed back through the woodland. . "The Festival" Peace in Candyland Time passed on in Cane. And with seasons change all nature felt the strain Trees now shed their leaves, as Jack Frost made them sneeze And animals scurried underground, where food and warmth were found And when the snow had blown its nose, and melted with the sun -- There rose A stem of green -- That flourished through-out the woodland scene Birds sang of it -- Flowers bloomed with it -- Children played in it It was Spring again in Cane It was carnival time in Cane And with village pageantry, merrymaking reigned. On the lake of Cane, a moving boat, towed a candy castle float While bombarding air with rocket flare, fire, and popping puffs of smoke And on the land, the village band, in tune with June, played the seasons score As people danced and sang the songs, they had sung the year before In dress-up masquerade, the village celebrated, 'The Festival of Candy Day!' In colors, chocolate, cherry, almond nut, and mint of white Cottages were painted colorful and bright, While across the mountain range -- large letters spelled out 'CANDY CANE' And banners flew advertising same- as did floats pulled by oxen train On one such float rode the 'star', The tall and chocolate 'Baby Ruth' -- The nutty candy bar Many candy stars were on the scene and competing with these stars Were 'VEGETABLES' like the giant 'STRINGBEAN' Mounted high on a float -- It caught the children's eye but not their vote, For they still preferred their 'Sweets' to greens The children playing games, fought a game of war Selecting sides was simply done, by the mask, one wore The pretty colored masks represented 'sweets' While the ugly headdress masks, resembled CARROTS, CABBAGE, BEETS. The children played their games in fun And though bruises made their mark no great harm was done Watching them were their elders -- who were chatting with new friends For many people came to Cane this year, who were never there before. From the 'Pepper village' came the 'Sneezers' And the 'Snoozers' from the 'Land of Nod' And the village 'No Man's Land' -- Was represented by the 'Women's Clan' Activists with placards stressing "Freedom's Stand." And though these people came for the festivities at Cane That wasn't all their thoughts completely entertained They had come to see this man called Green For had not village runners heralded out his fame In every hamlet on the plain Telling how he could restore, the sparkle in a smile once more Indeed they had, while singing his refrain 'Brush your teeth with chocolate creme -- it's the paste of Cane and Green, No more salt and finger scrub -- For good hygiene -- a rub a dub dub -- It's Cane and Green For good hygiene -- a rub a dub dub -- It's Cane and Green.' And now the time had come -- as a crowd gathered 'round a platform stage Mayor Sweettooth Cane presented Mr. Green to their gaze As he unveiled two figurines -- both candy baked -- One of himself and one of Green. As Cane and Green shook hands, cheers went 'round the viewing stands. Green then told the congregation, he was available for consultation And whoever was in need of dental care, to leave their names And appointments would be made -- on the calendar of Cane. Green then introduced the four assistants he had trained: Mr. Puller's job was pulling teeth While Mr. Driller did the drilling Mr. Capp would do the filling -- With the help of Mr. Silver, Mr. Gold And if Puller did a mouth complete Mr. Green would mold and make the teeth -- A set of thirty-two to better chew Whatever food one chose to eat Once again the crowd acclaimed -- Mr. Green and this miracle of Cane The art of reproducing teeth -- The end to toothache pain And then -- when those who needed dental care were calendered in time All went on the village green to dine on soda pop and sweets Vegetables and wine. "The village of Cane will never be the same," Sweettooth said to Green, As they watched the children eat their greens. Green just smiled his gladness, as the children gulped each morsel down Though with distaste, for they made a face, and even Sweettooth frowned For Shhh! though no one knew but Sweettooth too, preferred his sweets to greens. But their antics didn't bother Mr. Green. And he told the children pointedly, "Eat it up you little rascals. It's for your health and your well-being. After you eat you'll get a sweet." "Bah! and Ugh!" was their reply, but they knew they had to try -- or else Forfeit the candy cart that tempted them nearby 'And down the hatch' went vegetables, like cabbage from a cabbage patch And when their plates were cleaned, around the candy cart they screamed With Oh's and Ah's and contented sighs. For after vegetables, candy was the prize Happily they smacked their lips on candy called a 'Hershey Kiss' And sang a song that went like this: "A sweet is a treat that's yummy to chew It's yummies for tummies -- a choco-o-ly-goo A choco-o-ly-goo ... A car-mel-ly chew; Here's one for me; here's two for you!" "A sweet is a treat delicious to eat With flavors one favors; Have a life saver All colored in red white and blue Here's one for me; here's two for you!" Green passively looked on -- as he thought -- of cavities that candies bring, But being very wise, he realized, that vegetables can always win If a sweet is the treat that follows them. Accepting candy from the children, Green tasted it and said, "Hmmm ... Not bad ... Not bad at all! But tonight before you go to sleep, Be mindful of your duty, children, MAKE SURE YOU BRUSH YOUR TEETH!" The children nodding their consent, ran off to play. And Sweettooth said, "With children, Mr. Green, you have a most convincing way." "Without your aid, it would have been impossible," said Green, "Holding back your sweets as you did, gave my vegetables a chance to compete. Without your aid -- I'm afraid teeth would never have been saved." Both men smiled and shook hands. And Green said, "Come, let us walk and breathe the goodness of this land." And this they did, in the evening light Through the meadow hay, with bobolink in flight And somewhere in their conversation, Green said, "You haven't seen my farmstead lately, Sweettooth. I've built another unit there, complete with flower bed. I call it my Greenhouse." "Greenhouse? Flowers?" Sweettooth said surprised. "I thought you didn't like their scent." "Whoever told you that?" said Green. "Why, flowers purify the air. Not only are they healthy, but as you know, they are beautiful to wear. Though I will admit -- MY GREENHOUSE -- has more than flowers in it." "Oh, what else is in it?"' Sweettooth asked. "Experimental plants," Green replied. "Oh, by the way, I meant to ask -- How are your teeth?" "MY TEETH," Sweettooth grinned, "Why, they're so good and new -- I can chew anything I eat." "Wonderful! That's wonderful," said Green, "But have you really tested them on anything concrete?" "Concrete?" Sweettooth laughed, "You bet I have. I've tried them out on fruits, vegetables and meat." "Well," said Green, "Like I was saying, in my greenhouse, I've been experimenting with new plants. Not the flowery kind -- But new vegetables. And one in particular, now comes to my mind. It's tough to chew, you know, rather gritty. But it would be, just the test for you. Would you like to make the test?" "Why not" said Sweettooth. "This vegetable -- does it have a name?" "Yes it does," said Green. "I call it Corn -- Kernel Corn." "KORN -- KORN?" Sweettooth said aghast, "COLONEL KORN? OH NO! NOT HIM! I met 'him' once before." Green was puzzled. "You met -- HIM -- once before?" "Well, him or it? Or whatever one would call it --" "I don't know what you mean," said Green, "This is a VEGETABLE! Not a HUMAN BEING!" Sweettooth laughed. "Oh no! Mr. Green, DO YOU BELIEVE IN DREAMS?" "Certainly," said Green. "MIRACLES AND DREAMS!" "Well -- about a year ago I had this dream And . . . " And on and on the two men walked Arm in arm as Sweettooth talked And in the distance one could hear The ringing laughter far and near. THE END
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