01-31-99Back from hiatus.
Took a long, hard look at the second draft the past few days. I've decided on the following:
The biggest problem was the twist/reversal with the attack on Kingpin's limo. At first, the reader thinks its XXX, then think its YYY, then back to XXX, then maybe its ZZZ...my problem was that I kept changing directions and getting myself too confused. And if the "writer" is confused, I know for a fact the "reader" will be. Remember K-Pin knows things that the reader can't hence he might do one thing yet his motif is never clear. Anyway, I believe I've straightened it all out.
I had a great chase scene between Bullseye and Daredevil but decided to yank it. I might include it in the climax but I've already merged two action sequences into one; now three? I'll plug it into the climax in the third draft and see if its too much.
Two unnecessary scenes with Ben are cut. One with Matt and one with Bullseye. The latter scene will exist though it won't take place in person but instead by email message. I need these two characters to communicate but I already had a scene where Ben explores the subways--didn't want him to do it twice (which is where Ben & Bulls had this "meeting").
So what was good? I really like the flow of Act I. Reads very quick yet a lot is going on. It was in Act II where I had some errant scenes that took away from the flow. Act III ties up all the loose ends and is action-packed. Overall, I was quite pleased.
Now to screenwriting. Normally my third drafts begin to focus on individual scenes, tightening dialogue, and trimming the expository writing into terse, visual sentences (as shown in the example of first page.) Unfortunately, this will have to wait one more draft as #3 will continue to focus on the A storyline (plus a few subplots). I have to delete some scenes and gel one or two together with other scenes. I want to make sure the entire script flows from fade in to fade out before messing with anything else.
Anyway, thanks for being patient the past couple weeks. Now, it's on to draft #3. Wish me luck.